Every now and again, I come across a true “online gem” – something so weird, amusing, or depressing that I just have to share it with others.
Today, I would like to introduce my very first posted online gem: www.despair.com.
Despair.com is a site that specializes in bitter, depressing, “demotivational” gifts for your pessimistic and/or dark-humored loved ones. My favorite items on their site are the Demotivators®.
You know those stupid, sappy, “inspirational” posters that people in middle management always have plastered on their walls, right above their pictures of them being all “buddy buddy” with some congressman currently under investigation for embezzlement, sexual harassment, or child porn?
Well, Demotivators® are the realist’s answer to $19.95 inspiration.
Here are a few of my personal favorites:
And, of course...
AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!
In other news, if you’re a lazy fat ass at my gym who’s only going for the month of January for a New Year’s resolution that you have no intention of following through with, can you please go the fuck home now and not come back?
Don’t get me wrong – if you’re actually going to stick with the program and get in shape, then by all means stay. Heck, I’ll even help spot you and/or chat with you about Deal or No Deal while on the elliptical. Watching your progress from my treadmill spot is inspiring to me.
But, if all you’re going to do is dick around by the water fountain filling up three bottles during the kickboxing class’s 5 minute water break, or walk at a 1.5 mph speed on the treadmill, or use up your “3 free sessions with a personal trainer” by taking up valuable parking space and then half-assing your way through all of the exercises, then get the hell out of my gym. I’m cranky, I need parking, and the last thing I want to do is to fight juiced-up, tiny-peckered ‘roid ragers for the next free treadmill.
Man, I can’t wait ‘til February.
And, on that happy note, allow me to leave you with a lovely sentiment from Despair.com:
In other news, if you’re a lazy fat ass at my gym who’s only going for the month of January for a New Year’s resolution that you have no intention of following through with, can you please go the fuck home now and not come back?
Don’t get me wrong – if you’re actually going to stick with the program and get in shape, then by all means stay. Heck, I’ll even help spot you and/or chat with you about Deal or No Deal while on the elliptical. Watching your progress from my treadmill spot is inspiring to me.
But, if all you’re going to do is dick around by the water fountain filling up three bottles during the kickboxing class’s 5 minute water break, or walk at a 1.5 mph speed on the treadmill, or use up your “3 free sessions with a personal trainer” by taking up valuable parking space and then half-assing your way through all of the exercises, then get the hell out of my gym. I’m cranky, I need parking, and the last thing I want to do is to fight juiced-up, tiny-peckered ‘roid ragers for the next free treadmill.
Man, I can’t wait ‘til February.
And, on that happy note, allow me to leave you with a lovely sentiment from Despair.com:
Cheers,
E
No comments:
Post a Comment