So, I’m sitting on my ass watching TV on Saturday morning because, dang it, I’m a tax-paying, law-abiding American, and that’s what I choose to do. Don’t judge.
Anywho, I’m flipping through the channels of truly abysmal Saturday morning television, and lo and behold, I stumble upon the commercial that I believe summarizes the severity of this whole writers’ strike…
http://www.aetv.com/parking-wars/
Nope, this is no joke. A&E has come up with the truly brilliant idea of doing a reality TV show about PHILADELPHIA PARKING METER ATTENDANTS.
*cricket chirps*
Exactly.
So, because the instant I saw the commercial, I knew I was going to have to do a blog about this total pile of crap, I went ahead and watched a few minutes of it.
Wow. I haven’t been this enthralled since I watched my neighbor mow his lawn.
Basically, you follow these meter maids around, who are WAY nicer than any real meter maid that I’ve ever encountered. I am 100% certain these bitches are putting on an act for the camera, because as long as I’ve lived, I have never seen any meter maid let someone out of a parking ticket. They are far more tight-assed than even the Highway Patrol.
Anyway, so there was this scene where this not ugly, but certainly not hot meter maid lets this pretty darn good looking guy out of a ticket because a parking meter is broken. (Riveting television, I know.)
So, they interview this dude afterwards, and he’s saying, “Wow, she’s the nicest meter lady I’ve ever met. And, she was hot, too. I’m not gonna lie – she was sexy.” Allow me to post a picture of this “sexy” woman:
Now, here’s my thing: she’s not an ugly woman. But, to call this woman “hot” and “sexy” is just out and out bullshit – unless you have a meter maid fetish (which I’m sure is not unheard of. If there are people out there who like to get shit on during sex, I have no problem believing there are people out there with meter maid fetishes).
My whole point with this show is that it just emphasizes how sad the state of television is. Have we gotten to the point that we’d rather watch meter maids working than go outside and do something – anything? For the love of crimeny, give those writers their dues and get them back in the office! Shows about meter maids? In PHILADELPHIA of all places? You can’t even do it in some place interesting like San Francisco? At least then you’d see some real characters. Philadelphia is just too normal for any reality TV programming. (I think that’s the biggest compliment the City of Philadelphia has ever received.)
Anyway, if you want to feel a deep sense of shame for wasting 30 minutes of your life on such inane garbage, new episodes of “Parking Wars” are on A&E at 10:00PM EST, 9:00PM CST, and they play reruns throughout the week (especially since “Dog the Bounty Hunter” had to be a total douche and open his big, fat trap using the N-word. I’m still so frickin’ pissed off at that. Dang it, fellow whiteys, you can’t use that word – EVER! When are some of you gonna learn?! GAH!!!!!!!! HULK SMASH!!!!!)
Sorry, total side rant.
Again, I implore the Hollywood “Big Wigs” to just suck it up and give the writers their fair share. All you have to do is look at the current crop of programming to know that, ultimately, you’re in the wrong here.
If I’m going to waste hours of my life in front of the TV, I at least want it to be with quality programming… yes, I know that’s an oxymoron, me saying I want “quality” television. “Craptastic” is a quality.
Cheers,
E
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