My First Video

Juan and Nick at our office bet on the Detroit Tigers vs. San Diego Padres series. Whoever lost had to shave their head.

Well, Juan being the foolish man that he is bet on the Padres. And, being a hardcore Dodgers fan, I felt it was my duty to not only help humiliate Juan for the day, but to make sure that humiliation was available for all posterity.

So, I took video footage of the event, and had Mr. Scootz teach me a few video editing tricks. And, let me just say this -- if you thought the picture comments were bad, wait 'til you see what I'm now going to be posting on your pages. O=) I really enjoy video editing!

And, speaking of enjoy, I hope you enjoy...

Cheers,

E

A Glimpse Inside My Heart...

I don't like the fact that I don't have time to write anymore. It's really starting to grate on my spirit.

Some things you just know in your heart that you're meant to do. You don't feel complete when you're not doing them. When you're not doing the things you were created to do, your world feels bleak and hopeless.

That's how I feel when I don't write… like my world is listless and that my life is becoming a pointless vacuum, just sucking up precious time and throwing it out with the rest of the dust.

How depressing. But, that's how I get when I don't write.

I've been in a funk all this week, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Scott & I were joking last night that I was going through a quarter-century crisis. While there probably is some truth to that, it's not so much that I'm becoming imminently aware of my own mortality. It's that I'm wasting what time I have with things that aren't important.

I'm slaving away at the office in Sales. How I ever ended up in sales, I'll never know. I guess it's because I'm really good at talking out of my ass. I'm good with words, and that helps me sell things.

But, it's not what I'm meant to do. I know that in my heart, but for the time being it's where I'm stuck. I have to make a living, and unfortunately this is what I have to do. It's draining, consistently disappointing, and requires a huge amount of up-front work in order to build any sort of client base and steady income.

I hate sales. I've come to this conclusion in the past few weeks. But, it's the only way I'm going to get ahead and be able to bring home a decent living. I'm not a doctor, and I'm not a lawyer, so I have to be a business woman.

But, my heart is sad. It's sad because I'm not doing what I'm meant to do. I don't want to waste my life selling things that don't matter. When people get so worked up around here about "bottom-line" and "meeting quarterly quotas", it just depresses and angers me. I just think about places like Sierra Leone, Rwanda, Darfur, Nazi Germany, Myanmar, and I am overwhelmed with the stupidity and borderline insulting pointlessness of all this stress and anxiety.

No one is going to die from not getting product in time. There aren't going to be any genocides due to Best Buy or Circuit City not getting their big orders in. We're not going to have an apocalyptic meltdown of our society because the reps didn't make their commission this month.

No, I can't be that person. I can't live my life being concerned about how much I'm selling, or what deal is coming in. I have to be during the hours of 8-5, M-F, but I can't be that person in my heart.

Last night, I wrote in my novel for the first time in 2 years. It felt… well, for a writer, I sure am coming up short on ways to describe it. I guess the best way to describe it was it felt like my heart was a POW stepping free onto home soil for the first time in years.

That's what it felt like – home. It felt right. It felt like I was actually doing something worth doing, as opposed to throwing precious time out, like tossing jewels out in the streets with the rest of the rubbish.

The Austin/Round Rock/Dell blog will be coming next week. I just felt that this was something I needed to put in writing, in case I ever forget again.

It's so easy to get swallowed alive by the things that don't matter. Negative energy/evil/Satan whatever name you give the negative of the world, has a way of consuming us with the inconsequential. It keeps us from the things that truly matter by throwing smokescreens of situations and issues that really don't matter in the long run. It kills us slowly from the inside out by keeping us from truly reaching our potential and what we are created to do and to be.

I know I need to refocus on what matters. God is good, and this isn't the first time He's rescued me from myself. I'd have given up a long time ago if it wasn't for Him. He's an awesome guy – you should try meeting him sometime, if you haven't gotten a chance to, yet…

Cheers,

E

Random Thoughts: Week of June 1, 2008

I have some really random thoughts at times. Sometimes I wish I could tape record what goes on in my head so I could play it back to people.

… I think I just proved my point above.

Anywho, I do have a lot of random, crazy thoughts, but most of them are really frickin' funny. I should be a stand-up comedian, except that I don't like being broke and constantly away from home and loved ones. Other than that, though, it sounds like a fantastic lifestyle.

So, I think I'm going to start doing a "Random Thoughts" blog series. We'll see how often I do it. Work has been crazy, and doesn't allow me much time to write, which as frustrating as it gets sometimes is overall a good thing. If I'm busting my ass all of the time, it means we're still doing tons of business in tough times. That also means I'm an integral part of the company, and therefore have job security.

At least that's what I tell myself halfway down the vodka bottle.

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I really think they need to come up with a new name for "Alcoholics Anonymous". I know no fewer than 5 people who have been through AA – that's not very anonymous if you ask me. Of course, they were all drunk when they told me, but still…

I think the new name of AA should be "Alcoholics Who Have Finally Done Something So Socially Reprehensible that People Have Actually Taken Time Away from their Daily Lives, Gotten Together in a Room, and Told Them to Quit Humping the Dog's Leg and Get Some Help Because Nana Made You Swear Before She Died that You'd Get Clean and You Still Haven't; and, Nana Can Still See You in Heaven, Especially When You Masturbate".

Granted, it doesn't fit on a Post-it note as nicely, but it's a whole heck of a lot more accurate.

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I had to call a UK Cell phone for business the other day. Man, oh man – even their cell phone auto-responses sound classy.

Obviously, they have the lovely sounding British woman guiding you through the voicemail process. But, after you're done leaving your message and you press the sign, the lady says, "If you would like to DEPOSIT your message, please press 1 at any time."

Deposit! So much more elegant than, "To leave your message, press 1."

Yes, I notice this sort of crap.

* * * * * * *

The last 142 received calls in my cell phone are from my boss. I think that's a bad thing, right?

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TRUE STORY: When I was about eight years old, someone asked me what the best thing about being an only child was. My answer? "I get everything in the will!"

I wish I could go back and spend one day with my childhood self. I was fucking awesome.

* * * * * * *

I never realized how posh my high school was until after I graduated. I think the moment of realization was when I was telling some friends that we had enough interested people to warrant both a junior high and a high school equestrian team, and you had to own your own horse to be part of either team.

That look on your face right now? Oh, believe me, I know it.

* * * * * * *

I'm not like other girls. I have a penis.

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! No worries, I have people who can vouch from firsthand accounts that I'm just being an ass.

I have considered using that line before in the club, though… or on a really miserable first date. I'm just a jerk like that.

* * * * * * *

When I was in some lame ass class in college, we had to do some of those painfully insipid "icebreaker" questions. Various questions were being asked, but the most ridiculous one of them all was, "What vegetable do you think you're most like?"

I so desperately wanted that douche of a professor to ask me that one, so I could respond, "A potato – I make a fantastic vodka if left alone in a dark room for several weeks, and if you cut out one of my eyes and planted it you'd grow a whole new crop of me."

Alas, it was never meant to be. Instead I just confessed that my favorite color is purple and I'd be an eagle. That's not even what I would really be; I was just depressed at any sort of smart assery going to waste...

* * * * * * *

I don't know why kosher dill pickles are so much better than the gentile ones, but man they sure are!

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TRUE STORY: When you're at a bridal shower, and you're playing the "How well do you know the Bride & Groom" game, and you get to the question about what their favorite foods are, don't be a smart ass and guess, "Kittens and Tears of Orphans". The vast majority of people will not find it nearly as funny as you did.

Trust me on that one.

Cheers,

E